They Might Be Giants (but they're totally not)
Since finishing my investigation into the internet cult leader Sherry Shriner, I’ve been following a number of conspiracy-centric folks on Twitter, skeptics, not believers.
I’ve said before and at length that I’m not a debunker. Debunking conspiracy theories is important, but it’s not the path I’ve chosen.
I like to use this thought experiment to remind myself: Imagine God shows up one day and says, “Hey, guys! I wanted you to know that I’m real and also that the Bible is a complete fabrication.”
What do you think would change? I don’t imagine much. We’re not locked into beliefs by facts. We’re locked into belief by our lives and the way we see them in relation to others. We’re locked into beliefs by our culture, or at least our place in it.
I support and celebrate debunkers because they insist that there are still people on the planet who believe in the power of facts, or at least in the power of supporting evidence. I never thought that would be a rare trait in my lifetime.
I don’t interact with them a lot, except for liking their posts and cherry-picking stories they share that seem worthwhile.
I got a kick out of a recent one about giants walking among us and made the mistake of responding, saying that between giants, reptilians, and vampires the persistent belief in giants is the one that baffles me most.
This did not go over well among the trolls or people who thought it was comical to deny the existence of tall people while believing in vampires.
It’s Twitter. I should have expected it.
I certainly wasn’t going to elaborate on Twitter, but the story provides me an opportunity to talk to you about giants.
Although I touched on giants in Dragged Into the Light, I didn’t highlight them because there is really only so much kooky one story can take. As I said, in the introduction, I didn’t want to spend 200 pages enumerating and laughing at fringe beliefs.
The shortest possible version is that there may have been giants in the bible, beyond “Goliath” of “David and Goliath.” If you follow the link above it will take you to a Google search page with three contradictory answers as the first three hits. My take on giants in the Bible is the same as my take on reptilians in Congress: They’re made up, so facts about them don’t matter.
What would take too much subtlety and space to say on Twitter is that giants are “only” thought to exist because of the Bible. Vampires, reptilians, and MKUltra agents are gleaned from living in the world. They’re not more real, but they’re based on experience, however convoluted. If giants weren’t in the Bible, they wouldn’t be on the list of things the government knows about and is hiding from us.
For me, it’s a constant reminder about how hard people will work to stuff the changing world into the static Bible. The example I use in my book has to do with the belief that reptilians aren’t “aliens” but rather demons.
Aliens can’t exist for the most conservative of the conspiracy theorists, because aliens imply evolution and evolution is a lie. But given that they know there are things we perceive as aliens, the only logical answer is that they are demons.
Giants don’t even have that much going for them. Since the 1800s shysters have been digging up large bones and claiming they belong to giants. One guy didn’t even bother digging, choosing to pass off what was essentially a sculpture as a petrified giant.
They’ve been debunked at every turn, but it doesn’t matter. The Bible says that giants walk among us and will until the end of the world, so it’s just a case of us not looking hard enough.
I don’t know why it feels different to me. It’s probably my own bias, but I feel like non-biblical mystical creatures are based on a misunderstanding. I heard that the undead legend likely came from bodies being dug up by wild animals just after we as a species started burying the dead.
We stuck Thog in the ground one afternoon and the next day he appeared to have crawled from the grave. Therefore: sometimes people come back.
[As an aside, I assure you there was a caveperson who knew what really happened, but the story of people coming back from the grave was so much more compelling than dealing with the fact that Grampa Thog was posthumously scavenged.]
I don’t believe in the undead more (or less) because of this origin story, but it feels more authentic. I guess what I’m getting at is that the difference between believing in vampires and believing in giants is the difference between misapplied reason and willful ignorance.
Keep the Faith,
Tony
Personal Update
TL;DR? NP
I’ve started a Bagel Manifesto podcast. For now it’s mostly repurposed essays that I’ve already written. This week’s is based on something I posted about outrage culture on Medium. Eventually I’ll be producing them together, but there are some I really want to get posted for the convenience of the non-reader.
Even if you’ve read this far, it might be worth your while. The stories only tend to run 10 or so minutes with the longest likely to top out at 15 minutes.
You can listen here and subscribe anywhere.
The Dragged Into the Light audiobook is finished. It should be for sale directly. You can have a review copy at no cost if you’d like, just send me a note and I’ll send you a download link once they’re live. I do ask for an honest review somewhere (Amazon, GoodReads, wherever).
I’ve also kicked off an audio-extras project. I will likely be available in late March or early April.